If You Cook it, They will Come (begrudgingly).

I am a huge advocate for the family meal. I owe this to the way I was raised. When dinner was ready, everyone gathered and everyone ate together.  Both my husband and I had families with working parents and our moms put dinner on the table daily.  I have no idea to this day how my mom did it, but she did.   In our house we would sit, listen to music, eat and talk about our day.   It wasn't perfect.  There would be fighting over who set and cleared the table and one of my siblings (who shall remain nameless) would conveniently go to the bathroom during clean up.  But it was excellent.  Most of the time we sat around our dining room table - we did have a view of the ocean, which was pretty cool.   There were special occasions where we would we eat in our basement in front of the TV.  We did this for the 1980 Winter Olympics, and to this day I remember the meal - whole barbecued chicken and my mom's homemade macaroni pie - and we  ate as we watched he United States win gold.  I have such fond memories of our dinners growing up and cherish these times with my parents and my siblings.

Fast forward.  From early on my husband and I set the precedent for mealtimes.   No TV at dinner was our main rule (unless it was Olympic hockey or Game 7 of the Stanley Cup).   Once we had cell phones and as our children got older, we had to reinvent some of the rules:  no cell phones or screens of any kind at the table for anyone (including us), no checking texts and no answering calls.  This last rule was amended to no answering phones unless it was a grandparent, only because all the grandparents live far away.  Setting an example for our kids at dinner has been one of the best things we have done.  I am certainly not saying it was perfect, as there were many MANY times where we had to remind  our children to stop checking their phone, or to put their phone down (which did not go over well, but whatever...PUT DOWN THE PHONE).  There are 1440 minutes in the day, and I am asking for 20 minutes.  Less than 2 % of everyone's time.  Sounds reasonable to me.

The kids are older now and it can be amazing what happens at dinner.   Our older one is away at university so the dynamics have changed as it is just the three of us.  Our daughter, though lovely, is seventeen and she misses her brother.  Getting her to come down for dinner on time has been challenging but we still try to do family meals when we can. Today we made a delicious meal, and she came downstairs, begrudgingly, and was not in a very chatty mood.

How was your day? Fine.  
How was your chem test? Fine.  
How was your Spanish presentation? Fine.   

Not a typical family meal!
Christmas Eve at my moms this year

Okay....?  

So we carried on with some quiet small talk. Finally after she ate, out came the animated chatter about her day, her life, her friends.  It is amazing how many times this has happened at our meals and how much we learn sitting around the table.    Meals are more than just about sustenance.  They are social times to be together and can be a safe place to share stories and talk about your day.

Creating mealtime structure is something that we can do and make time for. I know more than anyone that life is busy as our kids play team sports and have social lives with friends.  My best advice is whenever possible, on a regular basis, have family meals.  Eat together, share, laugh and listen.  You will never get a better education than around the dinner table, sharing food (and wine sometimes) with family and friends.

Change IS hard....Duh!

My actual water bottle from a good friend
who knows me well

I heard on the radio last week someone saying that "even if polar bears cease to exist, humans will, and isn't that what matters?" Or something like that.  I was like what the actual fuck?


Change is hard, but unavoidable.   People can either avoid it, which in my opinion causes stress and anger, or be a part of it, which will cause stress and anger.  Wait.  What?  Change can be ugly and messy at first, but eventually if we are a part of that change, it can be tolerable, and maybe even a bit beautiful (sometimes...not always).  I am not really selling it, but I don't have to.  It is inevitable.

Right now, one of the hottest topics is climate change.  It is scary to think that our way of life needs to change so we can protect our planet.  I ask myself "what am I willing to do beyond turning the water off when I brush my teeth?"  I drive an SUV....am i willing to change that?  I travel a lot as my family lives across the continent.  Am I willing to change that?  We took our kids to Europe this summer, knowing that jet fuel is a huge contributor to ruining the environment but we still did it.  Why is this?  I don't have the answer.  But it is coming.  It will be ugly and messy and uncomfortable but we need to try and be a part of it and figure it out.



I am currently reading Brene Brown's book "Daring Greatly" and she talks about not sitting on the sidelines and the importance of being uncomfortable and vulnerable in order to have the "courage and willingness to engage". Reading this made me think of Greta Thunberg and her recent visit to Alberta, which is causing quite a bit of discomfort.  Everyone has an opinion.  Some are angry, others are skeptical, while some welcome her and want to hear what she has to say. She talks about the global crisis, which  trickles down and creates a lot of uncertainty and discomfort in our own personal lives. I for one do not want to sit in the cheap seats!  It may be quiet up there, but you can't see anything, can't hear anything, and nobody can see you. If we are not willing to get messy and feel uncomfortable, what are we here for?


Whether you believe in climate change or not (seriously people!), we all live on this earth, and while it should be in our nature to protect the planet we live on, it is not easy to think about the changes that are coming.  Our planet  - it is not our right to be here, it is our privilege, especially if you are in North America (okay Canada!).  So whatever you choose to believe in - whether it is a force from above or below or a step to the left (or god forbid a step to the right)....whatever it is, we are living on this earth together.  Climate change or not, we should respect where we live, and protect it.  I can't say that I will embrace all that is coming with open arms, but I want to be a part of the mess and the chaos and ultimately the solutions.

I want to do my part to protect our planet.  Full disclosure I am going to Mexico in February 2020 but will pay that extra carbon offset...for now.

One of my favorite quotes seems both timeless and relevant.

be the change that you wish to see in the world - Gandhi 


https://www.washingtonpost.com/travel/tips/questions-about-carbon-offsets-flights-answered/

My new favorite soup with my new favorite spice....

This week I decided to try (again) to make a delicious broth - Asian style.   I have attempted this before, but it has never quite turned out.  When I think of an Asian soup....whether it is a delicious pho, or a savory wonton soup there is always that sweet and spicy taste with hints of ginger, garlic, sesame, soy....and that one ingredient that escapes me. 

Lets back up to last week when I was at Co-op, and ran into an old colleague of mine selling a product that she created.  It is called Seven Spice Chili oil.  It. Is. Amazing.   It is the missing link to making this broth go from good to absolutely amazing!

So for my wonton soup, here is what I did (remember I am not an exact kinda recipe gal!):

1) In the morning before work, I threw a chicken carcass plus some of the leftover juices from said chicken in my slow-cooker.   Add water, close the lid and put on low heat for 9 hours.
**Kitchen-hack tip: when you roast a chicken, throw the carcass and all juices in a bag and into your freezer

2) When I came home I strained out all the broth and separated all the meat to add back into the soup (no sense in wasting).   I put the broth in soup pot on the stove and began creating.....

I added:

• fresh minced garlic
• fresh grated ginger (Kitchen-hack tip from my friend Kelly, freeze your fresh ginger and it will last forever and is easily grated without peeling!)
• Soy sauce
• Sriracha 
• Sesame oil - to taste...i probably added about 1 - 2 tsp
• Fish sauce  - just a few dabs
• Seven Spice Chili oil (did the mild)  
• thinly sliced cabbage (I used Napa cabbage and used about half)
• sliced fresh mushrooms (maybe used about 6?)
• wontons (cheated and used the chicken cilantro ones from Costco)

Garnish with fresh cilantro, fresh grated carrot and green onions once served.

Absolutely delicious and full of flavor!   And seriously...check out this spice as it is so versatile...once you try it you will need to add it to your permanent grocery list!   

www.sevenspice.com

Quick-ish Sirloin Stir Fry

Sometimes I feel like a super-hero.   Sometimes I feel like a super-hero who needs a vacation.   Today it was a bit of both.  Even though it has been minus 30 for almost the past 2 weeks and I am in desperate need of a beach vacation, for an icy cold Monday...I was pretty super-hero-ish.  Here is a snapshot of my last 24 hours.

Last night:  Took out a piece of sirloin steak from the deep freezer and put in the fridge for a nice slow defrost.

This morning:  Got up at 5:15 am, went to work out; got home, showered, changed, had a coffee and muffin (yes, homemade) and put my lunch together.

Before work: It was the best time cut the steak as it was partially frozen and cut beautifully into thin strips.  Made a kick-ass marinade and refrigerated til I came home.

Home from work: Made rice in my favourite kitchen appliance, the instant pot!  Add equal amounts of rice and water, high pressure for 4 minutes, slow release, no fuss, no overflow, no questioning "is it done?".   It's.  Just. Done.

Hubby fried the steak.

I chopped and sauteed veggies.

Voila!  A meal that is easy and delicious!  My 18 year old telling me "Mom...this is good AF" says it all!.


Here's the recipe as best I can remember.  Those who know me know that when it comes to recipes, I look stuff up and then I make stuff up.  


For the marinade:
1/4 cup olive oil
a few dabs of sesame oil
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
3 - 4 cloves minced garlic
a few squirts of nice seedy mustard

Pour the above over sliced sirloin steak, cover and refrigerate til you get home.


Veggies  - basically anything will do...this is what I had in my fridge
Fresh green beans - chopped
broccoli -chopped
zucchini - quartered and chopped
1/2 red pepper - sliced\
2 - 3 cups fresh chopped basil


Chop and cook the veggies
Saute veggies in a little oil.  Throw in some chopped garlic and a dab of sesame oil.  Once veggies are done, add about 2 cups - 3 cups of chopped fresh basil so it is just wilted into the veggies.


Cook the steak
When ready to cook, add 3 - 4 teaspoons of cornstarch to the meat and fry in cast iron skillet (or any fry pan).

Time to Eat!
Add the beef to the veggies.   The cornstarch + steak will make a nice sauce.  Add a bit of water or white wine to the pan that originally had the steak...*deglaze the pan and add this mixture to the veggie/steak mixture.  YUM.

Fill your bowl with some rice and top with veggies/steak.

Garnish ideas:  Chili flakes, Sriracha, cilantro...whatever!

*de·glaze

Dictionary result for deglaze

/dēˈɡlāz/

verb

1. dilute meat sediments in (a pan) in order to make a gravy or sauce, typically using wine.

   
   

   "deglaze the pan with the white wine"

love you edtti...xo

Tomorrow will be three years.  Three years of life on earth without him.  How is that even possible?  I still ask myself if it is real. But it is.  And maybe it feels worse because I am no longer in denial, or am I?   I still talk to him, write to him, but sometimes I want to hear him..what would he say to me?  What advice would he give?  

I searched my email today and typed in "Zaim" and scrolled through hundreds of emails.  It gave me comfort seeing our emails to each other about everything from organizing closets and desks to our jobs and our families.   I wanted to see his words.  Feel the words he wrote to me.  

His love for his job....

Hi Sherene I got the job in the private practice office just like you! only narda and I know so keep it on the qt till I tell you and know the details.
I love you everyday that there is
Fav uncle

OM(F!)G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so proud of u! And so happy for u! I had my private practice job today and just LOVE it!!!!!!

Love u everyday that there is!!!!!!

~s..xo

Thanks for your vote of confidence and love.

So glad I have you to confide in..I thank Allah that you love your job it is one non fattening ingredient in a recipe for a great life. 

Fav unc

Love for his family....

I love you everyday that there is.kiss all for me.

Merry Christmas. My Christmas is so happy Emir slept here with all of us . Allah be praised.
Fav uncle

His funny sayings that were soooooo him....

Gee thanks...love the microphone pics ..love them did I mention I love them 

Fav uncle

His love for my kids.....

Sooooooo cute beyond words ..love you everyday that there is....kamea asked me what is there is

Fav uncle

My number one fan...

So proud of u

Fav unc

Saw you in the news paper...wow wow wow
Fav uncle

Wow I am sooooooo happy for you.

Fav uncle whose niece is in the papers

So what advice would he give me about my job, my children, my family?  I already know this answer.    He was proud of me.  He loved me.  He is with me.  

I just need to read between the lines.  

Love you uncle Zaim, everyday that there is...xo

#positivity2017

This week was two years.  Two years since my uncle passed away.  Part of me still thinks he is there, in Toronto, but that we just have not spoken. Then realization sets in and I remember.  I remember the pain, the deepness of my grief.  How can I go on? How can anyone?

Love you everyday that there is...xoxo

A cousin of mine made a video montage of my uncles life, complete with music, pictures, captions.  It was hard to watch it but I just could not stop.  It was over sixty minutes long and while the music, photos and videos caused a cascade of tears from my eyes, it was so very inspiring to see his life this way. Every picture told a story, whether it was about faith and family, or friends and colleagues.  And in every picture, he was smiling ear to ear.  He had an infectious smile that still manages to light up the world even though he is not physically in it.  The past week was filled with so many different emotions it was hard to keep track where one emotion ended and another began.

But I had an epiphany.   Call it whatever you like.  A resolution, an intention (my preferred term)...but I had one.  I guess I have to back up a bit.  For years before my uncles passing, I would see the number 11, whether in my car (where the time is set 7 minutes fast) or in our bedroom (where our alarm clock is set 20 minutes fast).  I would see 11:11, or 1:11 all of the time.  Then, on January 11 at 11:21 am, he was gone.  First, I am convinced he waited for me as he passed away shortly after I arrived at the hospital.  Second, I honestly believe that when I see the number 11, it is him, watching over me, guiding me, helping me....a faith that I have (and have always had) in him.

So fast forward to this week.  I was in my car, feeling.....for lack of a better word, I was feeling great. I had emailed my husband some ideas I had about the kids, our finances and about organizing our house (a never ending task).  I proposed a January challenge for our finances (i.e., spend as little as possible this month and see how much we can save). I started my email to him with "I am feeling physically and mentally better today...." and ended it with "love you...just wanted to share this positivity with you as I know my uncle would be proud".  

My epiphany....postivity.  Totally not earth shattering, but for me, it is.  If you talk to just about anybody and ask them about me...they will most likely tell you that I am a super-fun and positive person.  Not saying that I am the cats meow, but this is what they would say!  What I find most interesting is if you ask my kids this question or even my husband, they may not fully agree.  Why is it that my friends and coworkers get positive and funny Sherene, and then at home, my family is subjected to this....other persona.  This past week my kids and my husband had a very emotionally charged and unstable version of me that I did not like.  I have to say that so far #positivity2017 has been truly an epic fail!  Arguments with my husband and kids, tears (my own) lashing out at everyone, feeling like a victim.  Then he wisely said..."there is nowhere to go but up from here Sherene."  And he was right.

Oh...a-hem...just as an aside, please check out his new blog on positivity that he started immediately after I shared my epiphany with him!
www.losingmyelectron.blogspot.ca   Remember.  He is an ENGINEER.    Love you Kelly.

Ok...back to me.

What would it be like if I were truly more positive in my home life?  I am not saying I can be Mary Poppins (though this would be tres cool as I do love that carpet bag!).   But if I could try and be more positive with my kids, with my family....what would the result be?   How does that even work to be more positive?

Maybe it starts with really thinking about what makes me happy.  My blessings. What am I grateful for?  Hard to remember these in the heat of anger and emotional outbursts.

But this is my quest.  

This is my intention. 

To be more positive.  

To be grateful.  

To show this to my kids and my husband.

To feel this in my heart. 

#positivity2017


And even as I finish this blog...my computer screen time says 11:11.  Honest.



A few pictures to start of my #positivity2017 journey

Love my chalkboard and my wine.  Lots of corks there....

Kids sent me to Florida in December for 4 days to see my family and get some sun.  As we were staying in Calgary for Christmas, they knew I would miss my family so this was their gift to me.  So sweet!  They did say that it was the thought that counts, so "do we have to actually pay for the trip dad?".  Ah well....it was thoughtful and an amazing four days!

We are truly blessed! Our Christmas 2016 picture

Lulu! Love her so much!

I Still Love Simon (after all these years...)

Simon (singing to me)

It has been going on since 1983.  Grade 9. I fell in love with Simon and his band.   I was hooked, like many young girls my age.  I spent all of my money on magazines featuring the band, I bought every album and single (remember the 45's?).  I had 77 posters hanging in my room...thanks mom for never telling me to take them down.  I bought buttons and pins, the most notable of them saying crude things about what I did with whom..."I had s-- with Simon" etc...  Again, thanks mom for not really saying anything about the pins.   I used to sit in my room and listen to Save a Prayer wishing that I was married to not one of them but all of them (especially Simon).  My friends and I each picked our favorite and just by doing this, they were ours.  We memorized birthdays, stayed up and watched Sam Taylor and Terry David Mulligan on Friday Nights hoping and praying they would play a Duran Duran video or interview the band. Remember Video Hits and Good Rockin' Tonite??   I remember the moment that The Reflex came out. Our social media (back then) was the local radio station promising to play the new single after 6 pm.  There I was in my room, armed with a blank cassette tape ready to record the new single so I could listen to it over and over again.  Finally in my Grade 12 year when I lived in the US, I got a chance to see them live in concert, and even though it was just Simon, John and Nick....it was like a dream come true.  

Roger

Fast forward to 2005 when I saw them for a second time in Calgary.  Here I was, married with 2 children, yet when we got to the Saddledome...I felt like a teenager again!   The fact that we started in the worst possible seats and were moved 6 rows from the stage was also pretty amazing and one of my most memorable Duran-moments. There I was, screaming "I LOVE YOU SIMON!!"
I know he heard me.

John

Last night, I got to do it for a third time.  And for me...it honestly just gets better and better.  The feelings and emotions I had as a teen, wishing for Simon to knock on my door and start singing to me (yes I did wish for that) all came flooding back.   I surprised myself by knowing almost every lyric and intonation of those songs. and was on my feet dancing and watching in awe as those Wild Boys gave it their all on stage.


Now I suppose my view on Duran Duran is skewed.  I will admit that.  I was...am...was...in love with them (Simon) so I suppose I am biased.  But on the flip side....for me and hopefully thousands of other ladies in their.....a-hem....early 40's (!!) to feel like we are 16 again for a couple hours while we belt out Rio, Wild Boys and The Reflex is totally worth it.  

They still had that magical power over me and I know the next time I see them....it will still be all that and a backstage pass?  Hey...a girl can dream....